No Drug's For ME Thanks
by kycool
Summary: It DOES have drugs in it so that's how it's rated. SO THERE! Sora gets high and acts like an idiot. If your gay, I wouldn't read this. If you BELIEVE in gays, there's one bad thing I wrote about them. This'll probably be the funniest thing you ever read.


Disclaimer: Roses are red violets are blue I don't own Digimon and my spelling sucks too!  
Oh, I don't believe in any of these couples so try not to falme me. I don't like flames. they make me cry. I bash my fave character a heck of a lot. So if I can stand it, SO CAN YOU!  
  
  
"Your NOT comeing!" I grumbled behind gidded teeth. Mimi, my girlfriend, pretended to cry and gave me a puppy dog look.  
"But why not, Tai?" She wined. I hate when she's like this.  
"Because," Izzy started. "This is going to be a BOY'S night out. Girlfriends are not aloud to come! And-STOP THAT MIMI!-sometimes guys need a break to just, HANG OUT."  
"We love you all just, we need a little time to our selves. Mimi, if your going to be so lonley why don't you and Kari, and Yolie throw a party for the other girls. I mean Sora." Matt begged. Sora was the only girl not begging to come because she didn't have a boyfriend. The girls tried setting her up with every boy they knew. But it just didn't work. It might have something to do with as soon as a boy would come on to her, she'd say something like "Don't be an idiot." or "Did you know that your friend Kari/Mimi/Yolie is trying to set me and you up? But it's not going to work, right?" or how about "Do that again and I'll bitch slap you like you've never been bitch slapped before." Yolie has come to the conclusion that she's gay. But Mimi and Kari refuse to think that, and that they just haven't found the right match yet. Kari was with TK, and had Matt was with Yolie *hehehehe, sorry. I had to do SOME kind of a humor couple. And I DO NOT believe in any couples at all so quit giving me that look of hatred!* and of course I'm with Mimi. Hey, I asked Sora out only because Mimi wasn't in town, okay? SO GET YOUR STORIES STRAIGHT! And Mimi spilled the beens on ICQ that Sora had been dared, or rather "SET UP" or even "used" by Matt, Kari and Yolie. Kari and Yolie tried to set Sora up with Matt because Matt needed a girlfriend to get those crazy girls out of his face. So Kari and Yolie dared Sora to give Matt some cookies and ask him out. Since Sora has never really taken anything like that too seriously, she happily took the dare, and dumped about a week later, when Matt relised this just wasn't working out. So he dated Yolie instead. (Kari was taken and Mimi at the time was living in New York.) It's a VERY good thing Sora doesn't take these things seriously , if she did well.....Matt just dumped her for Yolie! I'd be pretty upset if Mimi dumped me for like, Joe.   
"FINE! Then we will! Let's go girls." Yolie raged. She stuck her nose up high in the air and Mimi and Kari followed.  
"TO THE BAR!" Davis cheered. We were planning to sneek into the bar with the fake ID's Izzy made. Hehe. I'm "Max Power". I got it from "The Simpsons". we walked down the ally and made are way to "Paul's Porn" This is the exact reason we didn't want the girls to come. If they new we were going to see strippers....... Matt opened the door. Sinse Matt's well known, he's wearing a brown wig. The man at the servise booth stopped us.   
"Hold on, boys. Let me see some ID's." He growled. We handed them over. He took a long look at them. "Okay, here you go. Sorry, you guys look a little bit yonger then 25. You can come in." We grabbed back the fake ID's and headed for the bar.   
"Can we have seven beers, please?" I ordered.  
"Uh, make that four." Ken interuppted. Izzy and Joe nodded their heads. Wimps.  
"Will that be all?"  
"For now." TK snickered. Matt and Davis gave each other high-fives. I just laughed.   
"Hey," Izzy said as the waitress left. "We've got company." Ha pointed over to a girl as drunk as ever, kissing a boy. None other then Sora.  
"Ewwwwww. She's kissing Ross Mintire!" Ken groaned. Only sluts dated Ross Mintire.  
"Even Sora can do better!" I moaned.   
"Sora's not a slut." Matt said.  
"Or is she?" I asked.  
"I bet he got her drunk somehow and it messed with her brain cells."  
"Here's your beers." The waitress passed them up to us.  
"Uh, ya know what? Maybe this isn't such a good idea." TK mumbled, glancing at Sora. We nodded are heads and pushed the beers away.   
"Gross. Ya know what? I don't think it's such a good idea for Sora, either." Matt waked up towards her and Ross.  
"Do you mind?" Ross grumbled as he looked up.  
"What did you do to her?"  
"I didn't do anything."  
"You got her drunk, didn't you?"   
"Drunk? Ya right. She ain't drunk. She's high."  
"How'd she get high, Ross?"  
"Hey, it was an accident."  
"What if my fist slips and comes in contact with your face by accident?" I threatend as I waked over. The other boys followed.  
"Fine, have your stupid girlfriend. I'm out of here." Ross pushed Sora over to Izzy and ran off like the coward he is.   
"Now what do we do with her?" i shuffled my feet. "Let's get out of here." They headed towards the door.   
  
No longer Tai's POV  
  
They knocked on Mimi's door, where she would've SURLY had a party with the others. She opened the door.  
"TAI! YOU CAME BACK!"  
"Only to deliver this thing." Tai shuved Sora threw the door. "Bye Mimi I love you. And when Sora comes-to tell her that she shouldn't smoke pot!" They ran out  
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?" She called out to them, but they were long gone. "Sora, are you okay."  
"Now I sleep on the side walk all year long, BECAUSE I WAS HIGH Ya, I'm singing this song all wrong, because I am high. Because I am high! Because I am high! Because I am high!" Sora sang stupidly, jumping on the coach.   
"Okay....I think you've made it clear that your high...." Mimi said firmly. She dragged Sora to her bedroom where all the other girls were moping.  
"Girls, Tai and the others just came by-"  
"WAS TK THERE?"  
"Yes.....but they left...." She cried. All the girls did one of those sweatdrop thingys.  
"You know when I'm feeling sad and blue? I sing a song! And it goes, a little something, like this:" Sora went over to the bed, sat down, and pretended to be holding a guitar. "Gray skies are going to clear up! PUT ON A HAPPY FACE!"  
"Would you shut the **** up?!?" Yolie screamed.  
"Just put on a happy face! We're rollong back prices ALL over the place-"  
"OH NO! SAVE ME LORD! WAL-MART! NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Mimi thundered, throwing a teddy bear violently at Sora.  
"-Just put on a happy FFFFFFAAAAAAAACCCEEEE!" They heard a voice comeing from the floor below them.  
"HEY! WOULD YOU KIDS BE QUITE??? IT'S 2:00 AM!"  
"What's wrong with Sora?" Kari asked.  
"She's high on....something..." Mimi answered. "Probably Mr. Binkey's children's coagh syrup. I saw that hidden under her bed once."  
"You mean LOST under her bed."  
"Lost, hidden, it's all the same. If it's hidden no one will ever find it, and if it's lost no one will ever find it."  
"You found it."  
"......"  
"I got high on nail-polish remover a couple of times." Yolie interupted. The other girls looked at her strangly, then backed away. An exception for Sora, who fell over.   
"Maybe we should get a docter." Mimi suggested.  
"Maybe you should get a brain! If the police knew she did anything like that, they could arrest her, couldn't they?" Yolie went into a deep thought, which means she won't be talking for a looooooonnggg time.  
"My bolonga has a first name! O-S-C-A-R!"  
"Okay....NOW SHE'S SINGING THE OSCAR MYEOR COMERCIAL! I just don't know how much more of this I can take in MY bedroom."  
"Didn't you ever sing the Oscar Myeor wiener song when you were little? Come on Sora! Let's sing the weiner song!" Kari said happily.  
"OK!"  
"OH I WISH I WAS AN OSCAR MYEOR WIENER!"   
"WIENER!"  
"THAT IS WHAT I'D TRULY LIKE TO BE!"  
"YES SHE WOULD!"  
"CUZ IF I WERE AN OSCAR MYEOR WIENER!"  
"WEINER!"  
"EVERYONE WOULD BE IN LOVE WITH ME!"  
"IN LOVE WITH HER!" Sora and Kari clapped their hands excitedly, jumping on Mimi's bed.  
"Okay that's enough! No more singing! No more jumping on the furniture! And Sora, NO MORE TALKING ABOUT WAL-MART!"  
"OR OSCAR MYEOR'S STUPID WEINERS!" Yolie shouted. The singing had brought her out of her 'deep thought' and then she forgot what she had been thinking about.  
"Why would Sora do drugs? they're so stupid."  
"Ya, you never know with these gays....always doing something stupid. Like having a parade, or kissing their cousins, or-"  
"SORA'S NOT GAY!!!!" Kari shouted angrily, Mimi was waving her finger in the background.  
"Speaking of gays, this reminds me of a song!"  
"NO MORE SONGS!" Mimi and Yolie chimed. Sora started to sing anyway.  
"Oh the moon is big and the moon is round and the moon is made of cheese, and the man in the moon is a really great guy cuz he always says thanks and please! And if you look real close ya you look really close you won't see aliens today, cuz the man in the moon that really great guy he chased them all away! AND HE SAYS THANKS AND PLEASE!"  
"WHAT?!? That didn't have anything to do with gays!"  
"Yes it did. Don't you know that the man in the moon is gay with the cow that jumped over him?"  
"And the dish ran away with the spoon!" Kari laughed.  
"Okay...Sora has an excuse for making no sence and being an idiot, but you don't..." Mimi looked out the window. "When will my Tai come back?"  
"Last time I saw him he was at Paul's Porn." Sora fell on the bed, looking at the mattres. "WOW! SLEEP COUNTRY!"  
"SLEEP COUNTRY, CANADA!" Kari sang.  
"WHY BUY A MATTRES ANYWHERE ELSE?" Sora jumped hapily on the pillows, but Mimi's face was so red with rage she could hardly think of anything else.  
"PAUL'S PORN!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Mimi looked like she might explode.  
"Ya! And TK was there, and Matt was there, and-"  
"TK!??!?!?!?!?!?!" Kari's hair stood on end, as the tears of anger poared out of her eyes.  
"Matt!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!" Yolie......had the same reaction as everyone else.  
"LET'S KILL THEM!" Mimi and the others stormed out the door, leaving Sora alone. The TV flicked to a channel full of static. A voice came from it.   
"Carol-Anne....." It called "Carol-Anne...."  
"I'm not Carol-Anne. I'm Sora Takenouchi." She answered stupidly. Since the goasts could not understand Japenese, it became very confused.  
"CAROL-ANNE.....!"  
"What?"  
"?"  
"?"  
"?"  
"?"  
"?"  
"Uh.....you speak english. I will now speak english. I know english." Sinse half of Sora's brain sells were now dead, she couldn't remember exactly what Mimi had told her. "I-am-getting-evil-vibes-from-you-so-I-asked-Matlock-to-put-a-hex-on-you."  
"What? OH NO! SHE KNOWS WE'RE EVIL! Who's Matlock? Aren't you Carol-Anne?" Voices arose from the staticy TV.  
"You-are-stupid-ugly-dogs-who-don't-have-boyfriends."  
"SHE KNOWS I'M GAY! And she called me stupid and ugly! She's making fun of the way I look! I can't help it if I died from dog raibies!" A hand came out of the TV and slapped her in the face.  
  
  
  
IN VOICE OF DARTH VADOR YOU HAVE ENTERED THE ZONE, WHERE NORMAL THINGS, DON'T HAPPEN, VERY OFTEN. AND THE GARBAGE ABOUT THIS BEING THE FUNNIEST THING YOU'VE EVER READ WAS NOT ACTULLY THERE. THE COWS OF MOJOJOJO PUT IT THERE SO YOU WOULD READ THIS. SO DON'T FLAME THE AUTHOR OR I'LL PUT AN EVIL HEX ON YOU! THEN I'D MATLOCK YOUR GOATS!   
IN VOICE OF SORA THAT RUINS THE EFFECT OF EVERYTHING THAT REMINDES ME OF A SONG! COCODOODLE DOO GOES THE ROOSTER! COCLEDOODLE DOO GOES THE-  
  
THE END PS (flames make me cry. unless it's a funny one. funny flames make me laugh! and DON'T DO DRUGS OR YOU'LL HAVE THE SAME EXPERIONCE!   
  
  



End file.
